Summertime

Summer is almost upon us.  What’s an unschooling family to do when their school year looks like most people’s summer vacations?  For us, the school year is the perfect time to go on trips, visit museums, spend entire days in our pajamas reading books and generally do whatever we please. Travelling in the summer is expensive.  Museums and parks are crowded.  But, summer camps abound in the warmer months.  And we want to stay close to home to tend to our vegetable garden, anyway. So, here’s a little preview of our very scheduled summer:

One week of Camp Balala

I’m sure they both wish they could spend their week of camp on Coronado Beach.
…or floating in the pool in Solomons

To gear her up for her summer of camp, Margot will be spending one full week with Balala (her abuelita) doing crafts, eating bagged lunches and being away from home for hours at a time.

One week of Girl Scout Camp

This is the big one.  With Girl Scout camp comes GoGo’s first experience on a school bus. I will drop her off at the bus stop at 7 am and pick her back up at 5 pm.  I mean. We are ready. But… also, we are SO not ready.  Since her week at Camp Addisone Boyce is the same week as a holiday, she’ll only have 4 days at this camp.  Hopefully it will be enough for her to get a good taste of camp life.

Two weeks of Theater Camp

The only girl pirate in Pirates of Penzance at an amazing Intro to Opera library event.
Killing it as a mechanical doll in The Tales of Hoffmann.

We originally were planning for CAB to be 2 or 3 weeks, but then we found out about a theater camp that was doing a production of Annie.  Margot is OBSESSED with Annie and musicals and acting.  Her current future plans include being an actress/musician/comic book writer.  This camp is a half day program and it’s about 5 minutes away from our house.  She’ll be done every day at 1 so we will still have plenty of time to go swimming and play outside on those camp days.  And on the final day, she’ll be in a production of Annie (Jr.).

Camping at North South Lake

Last year at North South Lake

We have a camping trip planned with some friends to go up to North South Lake for a few nights.

One Free Week

Only one!

Two weeks of Jr Farmer’s Camp

At Farm Camp Orientation, potting a plant (which died, oops…)
Studying a worm because #gogolovesbugs
Discussing maybe eating this leaf? I think?

Junior Farmer’s Camp was the first thing we signed GoGo up for. Two weeks of digging in the dirt, playing with worms, planting and harvesting vegetables, going on nature walks and running a farm stand.  What an incredible way to spend two weeks of summer!

Northeast Unschooling Conference

We end our summer with 5 days in Massachusetts to attend the Northeast Unschooling Conference.

And then it’s September and we get to go back to the lazy days of the school year.

I asked Margot which Camp she was most excited about and she said “All of them!”

I will have so much time on my hands while she’s at all of her camps… I am hoping to get lots of stuff done at home while she’s having buckets of summertime fun.  Margot’s summer of camp and Mama’s summer of cleaning. One of us is getting a much better deal…

NYS Homeschooling Paperwork – 1st Grade

Here’s the Letter of Intent, IHIP and templates for the quarterly reports and yearly assessment I will be submitting to New York State for Margot this year.  I cobbled things together from various sources online.  It was really helpful for me to read a variety of reports when making mine, so I thought I would share ours. I even did it all redactified for you.

The whole idea of reporting is kind of… anti-unschooling, right? But, you know what, I like writing reports, and even though I have to do all this legal-sounding language citing the Regulations of the Commissioner of Education, it’s really just a very specifically organized journal.

I will try to post the detailed Quarterly Reports when I prepare them, but, as the world’s most forgetful blogger, I will probably, well… forget.


Letter of Intent

SENDER ADDRESS

DATE

RECIPIENT ADDRESS

To Whom it May Concern,

We are sending this letter of intent as required of Section 100.10 of the Regulations of the New York State Commissioner of Education.

We intend to homeschool our child, NAME, who will be entering grade 1, for the 2018-2019 school year.

Sincerely,

(Guardian’s Signature)


Individualized Home Instruction Plan

Student’s Name: NAME

Date of Birth: DATE

Grade Level: 1

School Year: 2018-2019

NAME will learn at home in the company of their mother, NAME. Their father, NAME, will also play a major role as will various family and friends, and members of the community, including trained instructors when suitable.  NAME’s education will be flexible and able to be adjusted as their needs change. They will be involved in the construction of their own curriculum, based around their particular interests.

It is our belief and intention that, in accordance with New York State regulations and requirements (as indicated in Section 100.10), by pursuing their interests NAME will cover a full year’s worth of all the subjects specified therein.  Corresponding subtopics may include but are not limited to the following:

  • Arithmetic
    • Counting and writing to 100
    • Simple number patterns
    • Concepts of quantity and size
    • Concepts of equality and inequality
    • Estimation
    • Geometric patterns and figures
    • Basic measurement
    • Recognizing time
    • Value of money
    • Solving simple word problems
  • The English language (Including Reading, Spelling and Writing)
    • Phonological awareness
    • Reading independently
    • Reading and listening comprehension
    • Discussion skills
    • Beginning spelling
    • Beginning grammar
    • Creating stories and poems
  • Social Studies (Including Geography, United States History and Patriotism & Citizenship)
    • Basic Geography terms
    • Community Service projects
    • Holidays, traditions and customs
    • Cultural studies
  • Science
    • Grouping and Classification
    • Animal studies
    • Gardening
    • Tracking weather and seasons
    • Simple machines
    • Beginning experimentation
  • Health and Safety
    • Bicycle safety
    • Traffic safety
    • Fire prevention and safety
    • Personal hygiene
    • Disease prevention
  • Arts
    • Exploring different genres of music
    • Exploring musical instruments
    • Arts and crafts
    • Children’s theater
    • Music lessons
  • Physical Education
    • Structured group gymnastics
    • Free play indoors and outdoors

Instruction methods/tools may include and shall not be limited to: reference materials (atlas, dictionaries, globe, maps, encyclopedias, non-fiction books, videos, the internet), workbooks, worksheets, hands-on activities, experiments, projects, newspapers, magazines, frequent field trips, museum memberships, live performances (including dramatic & musical theater and musical performances), movies, instructional videos, group activities (library programs, homeschool co-op meetings, troop meetings), classic/contemporary literature, independent research, writing (journal, narrative, poetry), games, creative thinking, predicting/forecasting, gathering facts, written correspondence (e-mails), recorded music, musical instruments, abundant art supplies, structured group classes (online and in person), free play, conversations, and real life.

NAME’s education is very important to us, and we believe they are learning no matter what activity they are engaged in. Therefore, they are learning (or being taught) all their waking hours. It would be very difficult to separate when they are learning, from when they are not. We believe living and learning are inextricably linked. By using their entire life as a learning experience NAME will meet or exceed the required 180 days and 900 hours for the school year beginning July 1st, 2018 and ending on June 30th, 2019.

Quarterly Reports will be submitted by the following dates:

November 30th 2018 / January 30th 2019 / April 30th 2019 / June 30th 2019
(Guardian’s Signature)


QUARTERLY REPORT

ORDINAL Quarter

Student’s name:  NAME

Grade Level: 1

This Quarter covers: DATE to DATE

Date Submitted: DATE

We have had instruction in all the following areas, as per Section 100.10 of the Regulations of the New York State Commissioner of Education and NAME’s Individualized Home Instruction Plan.

Subject: Arithmetic

Materials Covered: NARRATIVE REPORT

Progress: Satisfactory

 

Subject: English (Including Reading, Spelling and Writing)

Materials Covered: NARRATIVE REPORT

Progress: Satisfactory

 

Subject: Social Studies (Including Geography, US History and Patriotism & Citizenship)

Materials Covered: NARRATIVE REPORT

Progress: Satisfactory

 

Subject: Science

Materials Covered: NARRATIVE REPORT

Progress: Satisfactory

 

Subject : Health and Safety (Including bicycle safety and fire prevention & safety)

Materials Covered: NARRATIVE REPORT

Progress: Satisfactory

 

Subject : Arts (Including Music and Visual Arts)

Materials Covered: NARRATIVE REPORT

Progress: Satisfactory

 

Subject : Physical Education

Materials Covered: NARRATIVE REPORT

Progress: Satisfactory

 

We have covered at least 80% of the required material for this quarter.

NAME had no absences from instruction this quarter, and has exceeded the required hours of instruction (225).

(Guardian’s Signature)


YEARLY ASSESSMENT

Student’s name:  NAME

Date of Birth: DATE

Grade Level: 1

School Year: 2018-2019

Date Submitted: DATE

NAME has satisfactorily completed at least 80% of the required material for this year. They have made adequate academic progress in all subjects and has surpassed 900 hours of instruction. Highlights of the year include:

  • NARRATIVE REPORT
  • NARRATIVE REPORT
  • MORE NARRATIVE REPORT

NAME will be entering Grade 2 for the 2019-2020 school year.

(Guardian’s Signature)


PHEW!

It feels like a lot to keep up with, but I think I’ve got a pretty good head start. Now I just have to fill in all the fun stuff throughout the year.

My eyeballs nearly fell out of my head when I typed the year 2020, though.  How did THAT happen??

And while we’re at it… how do I have a child entering the First Grade? I can’t even…

Week 3 (9/25/17)

Here’s what we did this week:

Monday

Monday really seems to be our lazy(est) day.  We didn’t do much during the day, but Margot did have a piano lesson and dinner out with Grampa for his birthday.

9-25 Tim's birthday 2 (1)

Tuesday

Gymnastics is just working out so well for Margot. I pulled out a unitard that we had for a Halloween costume that never came to be, plus some cupcake shorts that we bought last week at the used clothes sale at the gym, so now she really looks the part.  She just loves gymnastics so much.  I am so glad we found this class and these coaches, who she really seems to love.  No Spanish Club this week since they are away on vacation, so we spent the afternoon with BaLaLa instead.  Went to the library, returned 30 books, brought 30 books back home with us…

Wednesday

Today we went shopping for donations to send to Puerto Rico.  As we were checking out at the first store the workers asked where all of the stuff was going.  When they found out we were buying donations for Puerto Rico they gave us 20% off of our entire purchase and promised they would come drop some stuff off themselves.  We also stopped at the mall, which is Margot’s favorite spot for taking photos.

Thursday

First day of the Puerto Rico donation drive. We came to drop off our purchases and ended up staying for hours helping out.  Margot was wearing her Wonder Woman outfit and was amazing people as she ran up to every car to carry out boxes of diapers and even an occasional case of water.  Before we left the house in the morning, Margot decided to make a sign for everyone to sign.

Friday

After spending our morning on the farm we piled into the car and drove out to Philadelphia to see Todd’s cousin Brian and his band, Spafford.  The drive wasn’t too terribly long.  Margot drew picture the whole time. At the concert, Margot loved the light show and grabbed my camera to take photos.  She also took this photo of the three of us.  We skipped out after a few songs but I think Margot’s first concert was a success.

Saturday

We spent a lovely day with Margot’s Fairy Godmother in PA, we went to the farmer’s market and to a vegan food festival and then to an outdoor movie in the park.

Sunday

This was the final day of the donation drive and we spent almost the entire day volunteering. Margot was such a super star running around helping wherever she could.  The turn out for this donation drive was so inspiring and some of the stories from the people bringing in donations were heartbreaking and lovely.  I am so glad that Margot got to see how many people came out to support our beloved island.  She was so proud to see all the messages written by volunteers on her poster.

 

Week 2 (9/18/17)

This was a very hard week for us.  On Wednesday we were devastated to watch the destruction that Hurricane Maria set down upon Puerto Rico, where much of my father’s side of the family lives.  Before I get to the fun things we did this week, please please please consider making a donation to help Puerto Rico.

http://unidosporpuertorico.com

unidos

Here’s what we did this week:

Monday

Spent most of the day in our pajamas building legos and reading books.  But, the highlight of the day was Margot’s first piano lesson with her new teacher (who is also my mom’s cousin).  They got along great and she did so well and she had so much fun and we are all very excited about this. Margot said she wants to start making her own songs on the piano so she can make a CD for her friends.

 

Tuesday

Tuesday is turning out to be our big “school-y” day on the calendar.  Margot tried out a homeschool gymnastics class that is in the same town as Spanish Club, and her friend from Spanish Club is in class with her, which is a treat! (She is the daughter of our Spanish Club Leader)  Margot was very nervous being in a new place and parents are not allowed to go into the gym, so it was a rough start, but after watching two other little girls from the class hop around like bunnies for approximately 30 seconds without her, Margot sprinted off into the gym with hardly a look back to me.  She had so much fun and we signed up for the next 8 weeks!  After class we had a quick lunch and headed to Spanish Club to learn all about Familia! When we got home we had to take two out of three of our “mascotas” to the vet. It was a busy, busy day!  But, they don’t let you take photos in gymnastics, so all I have to show for it is Margot making a standard grump face and working on a picture in Spanish Club.

 

Wednesday

Margot and I worked together on some Spanish Club homework.  Margot kind of loves doing dittos* and I could not be more thrilled.  As much as I love unschooling, I also LOVE DOING DITTOS!! So, I am pleased that Margot is with me on this.  It was also my birthday, so we went to one of our favorite all-vegan restaurants and ate vegan sushi and (OF COURSE) cake.

 

Thursday

We stayed home all day today. Did some work in her Spanish notebook, played a few more games on the iPad than I would have liked, and canned a few more jars of tomato jam. We are up to 127 jars put up this summer… If you asked GoGo what the highlight of her day was, she would probably say it was getting to hold Jack.  She has been working so hard to gain his trust (Pizza just runs away, but she’s GoGo’s next target…).

 

Friday

Friday was the Autumnal Equinox and we totally missed it. I wish I had planned ahead with some nice activity, but I hadn’t! And Margot woke up feeling a bit under the weather, so we opted to have a laid back day.  We worked on a 100 piece puzzle that Margot had been wanting to do for a while.  Margot also decided that it was finally time for her to call Guy Raz and Mindy Thomas to share the wow in her world.  We actually called twice because in spite of practicing a dozen or so times, once she was on the phone things fell apart a little bit.  Anyway! We will be listening to the new season to see if her message makes it on there.

Saturday

Margot picked some pumpkins that grew out of our compost bin.  Then, we tried to go to some art event happening the next town over, but… we had the day wrong. Oops! Anyway, we went to the park with Papi and Balala and when we got back home there was a package waiting for us, and when Margot saw what was inside… well… check it out below.

Sunday

Busy day setting up for and then helping out at the open house for Creative Circles and Schuyler Road Farm and then a little impromptu pool party at a friend’s house.  Margot spent the day running around with her friends, making art and playing with farm animals. So, a very good day indeed.

What we read this week:

  • Kindness is Cooler, Mrs. Ruler – We put a bunch of books on hold about kindness and respect, and this is one that came up on some list somewhere.  It’s about a classroom of students doing random acts of kindness.  They try to do 100 acts of kindness at home, school and in their community, putting up a heart for each act.  Margot asked if we could do our own kindness board at home, so I think we need to make that happen.
  • Brick Shakespeare: The Tragedies – Margot loves comic books and Legos. I love Shakespeare. This seemed like it would be a hit, and it WAS! She has been “reading” this book before bed every night.

What we listened to this week:

What we watched this week:

  • Wonder Woman. And I have SO MANY THOUGHTS I should probably write a whole post about it…

*Do people still call them “dittos”?!? (I’m talking about worksheets…)

Successful Homeschooling

What does it mean to be successful at homeschooling?

So often when we tout the benefits of any style of education (be it conventional schools, alternative schools, home schooling or unschooling) we rattle off the ways that the children educated in that way are exceptional.  For schools they might boast their college acceptance rate, or for home educators the fact that their child started reading at age 3.  Unschoolers might boast about their child starting a successful business while their peers were stuck in a brick building all day.  But, it’s not very often that someone says the education model they chose resulted in a totally average and unexceptional child.

I mean “Unschooling: Make your children ordinary” would be a terrible slogan, but… chances are unschooling Margot isn’t going to turn her into a child genius. That’s not at all the point of it.  But… it feels like a lot of pressure to say it will turn her into a child genius, or to say that she already is a genius and that public/private school would never be able to meet her needs.

IMG_0689
Obviously a genius. Evidence: Harry Potter books, dinosaurs and Wonder Woman dress.

If we sent Margot to school, she would very likely do well there.  She might be an average student or slightly above average. But, it’s not likely that she would be at the top of her class. I think that if she followed the prescribed educational track she might go to a middle of the road university and continue to be an average student there. Then she might graduate and find a job working in a cubicle somewhere, peaking as middle management.

I like to think that by unschooling Margot, she will be able to tap into some deep cleverness that would have otherwise been stifled by the public education system and she will follow her own path, possibly go to college, and then end up in some fascinating career where she will be interviewed for the NY Times and will credit her awesome success to her mother’s devotion to student-led home education.

IMG_0543
Not middle-management material, don’t listen to what I say in the next part…

But, the much more likely scenario is that she will end up in that same cubicle in that same boring middle management job.

She hasn’t begun to read at any early age. She always skips straight to “fourteen” when she counts past ten.  She loves science and music and art but has yet to discover a new species of bug, write a concerto or draw a person without a giant bubble body. She might be behind her schooled peers in certain areas and ahead of them in others. We think she’s very clever and exceptional, but we are her parents and we are supposed to think so.  The truth is that she is a neuro-typical kindergarten-aged child who is really pretty average. (Oh, it pains me to even write that! Future Margot, if you’re reading this, whenever it is you learn how to read, I THINK YOU ARE SO SPECIAL!!!!)

IMG_0496
Why, yes, she DOES have two Wonder Woman outfits.

And yet, when we talk to our families and friends about our decision to home educate we say things like “You know Margot, she’s so clever! She’s so smart already! She’s so wonderfully exceptional in every imaginable way!!  Did you know that many unschooled children actually start college EARLY??  AND THEY ALL GO ON TO BE INCREDIBLE HUMANS!!!?!?!?!”  We scream into the void, “WE ARE GOOD PARENTS!! WE ARE MAKING GOOD CHOICES!!!”

All this pressure to “prove” that unschooling is better and my child the better for it makes me incredibly anxious*.  By what metrics can we ever prove such a thing?  Will people be convinced that we made the right choice only if she is a wildly successful adult?  And what even is success?  What if she has an interesting job but doesn’t make much money?  What if she makes loads of money but works in a boring field? What if she falls somewhere between those extremes?  What of her happiness?? What if she is unhappy with her life?  What if she is a kind person? What if she is the kind of person who honks their horn when the light has just turned green?  When will we know that we made the right choice? When will we know that “unschooling” was a success?  When will others see that?

I have no answers for these questions.  But, I think it’s important to ask them. I think it’s important to examine what we consider “success” and to remind ourselves that the point of life (for schooled and unschooled humans) isn’t test scores and college placement at all.

But, also:

Isn’t Margot so clever and unique and wonderful??

IMG_0683
Astronaut shirt: further proof of her exceptional intelligence.

*oh, but doesn’t EVERYTHING?!?

Week 1 (9/11/17)

Here’s what we did this week:

Monday

Oh God, Monday was only a few days ago and I have no memory of what we did… I’m already bad at this.

Tuesday

Todd stayed home today to do some work around the house, including taking some bags of construction debris to the dump.  When I asked Margot what she learned at the dump she said “It’s really smelly” and “People were throwing away perfectly good stuff! There was a bike in there that maybe someone wanted!”  It was also our 1st day of Homeschool Spanish Club!  We learned how to introduce ourselves in Spanish and names for body parts.  We have not stopped singing “Mi Cuerpo” all week long!

 

Wednesday

Margot asked to start practicing reading again (we started about 6 months ago, but she wanted to take a break), so we got out the Bob books and started over again.  She was struggling a bit, but when I told her we didn’t have to do it she said “no, I need to learn how to read so I can read my own books.” So… we are going to go with it… but I’m feeling really uneasy about it.

Thursday

Adventure day with Papi and Balala!! We went to the Museum of Natural History.

Margot’s favorite thing was the dinosaur bones, of course.  She wants to go back again soon because we didn’t get to see any of the rocks and gems.  We are already planning our return trip.

Friday

We are so excited that Circle has moved into our neighborhood! We walked up to Schuyler Farm for Mornings on the Farm with Rachael and, honestly, I could not be more excited about this.  Margot and her friends made some wood slice art, fed the animals, played in the mud and ran around in an open field. Heaven.

Saturday

We had such an awesome day on Saturday. It was the first (of hopefully MANY) Great Nyack Get Together and what an incredible event.  It was all local organizations set up with fun activities for families, there was a (slightly terrifying) Ferris Wheel which everyone got to ride for free, live music and just… it was so great, I can’t stop talking about it.  Margot’s favorite things were “the ferris wheel” “getting a free book” and “everything, I liked everything.”  The highlight for me was the “Flash Poetry” booth where Margot asked for a poem written about monsters.  THEN, as if that wasn’t enough excitement for one day, we went to a BBQ at Titi Tasha’s house and played with Maddie Moo (and crawfish) and ate cupcakes.  Just. What a great day.

Sunday

We took things pretty easy after such a busy (and hot!!) day yesterday.  Margot helped me snacked on cantaloupe while I made cantaloupe jam and helped Todd  made a video of Todd while he cleaned some stuff out of the basement.  There was also a fair amount of laying around reading books and a little bit of iPad time (playing Todo Math and Endless Learning Academy)

What we read this week:

  • The Disney Scary Storybook Collection (this is the free book she got at The Get Together…)
  • I Just Forgot by Mercer Mayer – We have been talking a lot about responsibilities and what happens when Margot “just forgets” to feed Sadie/pick up her things…
  • The Thank You Book by Mo Willems – We love Gerald and Piggie!

What we listened to this week:

  • Wow in the World – Only the greatest podcast ever.  The first season is over (bummer), but Margot wants to re-listen to all her favorite episodes, so… all of them.  All of the episodes.
  • Ay Caramba! Ay ay ay!: Cuentos y Canciones by Leeny del Seamonds – CD we picked up at the library and have now listened to a dozen times. Stories told in English with some Spanish words thrown in. Margot got so excited when they said “boca” because that is one of the words she learned in Spanish this week.

What we watched this week:

  • Enchanted.  Todd was working on Friday night, so Margot and I had a “girl’s night” and watched this movie. We both really liked it.  Some problematic things, but it gave us a lot to talk about and even challenged some of the Disney Princess tropes (all while being a Disney Princess movie…)
  • Spanish song videos on YouTube. Like this one, and this one.
  • Humpback Whales at the museum.  I cried. Margot put her little hand on my face and whispered, “It’s going to be okay, mama”

I’m Back-ish?

Sometimes I think that 90% of my “blogging career” has been spent writing blog posts that say “I know I haven’t blogged in a while… but I’m back!”  See the last post I wrote, in September, about how I was going to try to write on here more often.  That didn’t go very well, clearly.

I’ve been on sort of a journey with my digital life.  A few years ago I gave up Facebook, then I took an Instagram hiatus last year and never fully returned.  But, the most recent development has been that my smart phone stopped working and I just never replaced it.  Also, around the same time that my cell phone abandoned me there was an election that happened (maybe you heard?) and I sort of spent a few weeks/months holed up in my house feeling sad.

All of this has sort of lead to me not really being online a lot.  I miss out on a lot of stuff, I think, not having my smart phone.  I’m not in the group chat we have going with other homeschoolers, so I miss some of our meet ups.  Sometimes I get super lost because I don’t have a GPS.  And I miss out on a lot of cute photos of my kid not having a camera constantly in my pocket.  But, I kind of love it.  I do not miss the feeling that I need to capture every adorable thing Margot does.  I do not miss the bad feelings of comparing my life to other people’s lives.  I do not miss worrying that my child is falling behind because my friend’s kid is learning to do something that Margot doesn’t know how to do yet. I don’t miss the feeling that I need to be constantly available.

I do actually miss things, though.  I miss having connections with people around the world on Instagram. I miss seeing other people’s journeys with unschooling and sharing our journey.  I miss the inspiration I get from seeing what other families are doing.  Which leads me to NOW.

Now, there is about a foot of snow outside, but I’m itching for spring to come and am feeling like getting back to this whole “documenting our life as unschoolers” thing.

Also, the dishes are done, and Margot is playing a game by herself and I was sitting here on my computer with a mug of tea and once I was done checking my e-mails and catching up on the news I thought “what else can I do on this machine?”

So, here I am.  I have a few big topics in mind to talk about, but for now, a little update:

Things That Have Happened Since I Last Updated This Thing

Margot turned 4.

Cupcakes at her Halloween/Birthday Party
My favorite picture from her Birthday Photo Shoot

Margot got a haircut.

This picture is out of focus, but LOOK AT THAT FACE. ❤

I started playing Roller Derby.

This is not how you play Roller Derby.
My very scary Derby Face.
That’s me, sticking my butt out. Which IS (kind of) how you play Roller Derby.

Todd did a million home improvement projects.

(refer to his Instagram for proof)

We went to Disney World. (This could probably inspire an entire post…)

We went there for Christmas, and this is the only picture I have on my computer… Also this is the day Margot had a fever and she looks like she’s about to fall asleep on Santa Goofy.

Ummm… I think that’s all??

So, until NEXT TIME, my friends. (Maybe, who knows, I’m bad at this…)

Waterbaby

20160801_160825At the beginning of the summer Margot was afraid to put her face in the water.  She wasn’t afraid OF the water, she loved to go in the pool.  But, she would only do so while holding on to an adult. Usually me. And usually pulling down my bikini top in the process.

So, we enrolled her in swim classes.  We looked around a bit for classes in the area.  I had read a lot about Infant Self Rescue classes and had almost enrolled her in one of those classes two summers ago.  Unfortunately, they didn’t have enough families signing up and cancelled the class, so that was a bust.  Now, the closest ISR class is about an hour away.

With a little research and very little debate we settled on swim lessons at the Y in Nyack.  The Y is less than 5 minutes away driving and is walkable from our house.  And they offer the most affordable classes in town.  We had heard a few mixed reviews, but we enrolled Margot in a two week intensive and decided if she wasn’t into it, we would stop the lessons and it wouldn’t be a big loss.

Now, before I start blabbing on about how much Margot loves swimming and how much she has improved, I’d like to talk about the problems with the class first.  The biggest problem we have with these lessons is that they schedule one lesson to end at the same time that the next lesson begins.  So, on the half hour it’s a mad dash to get one set of children out of the pool and the next set of children in to the pool.  This also means that we do not get any face time at all with Margot’s swim instructors.  Which is a problem only because I’d appreciate a little snippet like “She is really improving at x, maybe you can practice y with her a little bit.” Or just, “Your child is a special, special snowflake and I have never had a student as lovely or as intelligent as her. You have clearly done a stellar job at parenting this unique creature!” This also leads into my other big complaint.  I don’t know her teachers’ names. AND! The teachers kept changing from day to day.  So, one teacher would see Margot succeed at something and then the next day a new teacher would be there and then would start from square one, not knowing that Margot had already mastered a certain skill.

Those are my complaints.  And they are not insignificant, except that they kind of are because this past week Margot swam across a pool by herself.  She LOVES swim class. And she LOVES swimming. And she has improved so dramatically we are constantly amazed by her skills.  She no longer clings to us in the pool and, in fact, if we try to hold her she scolds us and asks to be left to her own devices.

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Her very first class.

After her first class was a success, we signed her up for the next two week session, so that she was in swim class 5 days a week for an entire month.  It made it really hard for us to do anything else since we had to be at the pool everyday by 3pm for an entire month, but she never once said she was tired of going and so, we went.  Now she is in swim class once a week and at least three times between classes she asks “is it a swim class day today?”

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Scooting to the pool.

 

We really could not be more thrilled and we intend to keep up with lessons as long as she keeps wanting to do them.  We especially want her to continue lessons through the colder months so that next summer she is ready and raring to go.  Since Todd’s parents have an in-ground pool I have been so anxious for Margot to learn how to swim.  She is never out there unattended, but it’s a skill that I have really been nervous about her acquiring.  Todd and I both tried to teach her, but she would get frustrated with us (and, admittedly, we with her) when we asked her to do things.  We realized that this was something that we couldn’t teach Margot on our own.  So, we found someone (or in the case of the Y, multiple someones) to teach her instead.

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My view from the waiting room. That is Margot floating on her back.

Now maybe you can see how this all ties in with unschooling.  We are dedicated to unschooling.  I believe now more than ever that we made the best choice for our child when we chose unschooling.  Seeing how well Margot responded to a teacher in a small class with me nowhere in sight (the adults watch the children on a CCTV in the waiting room) showed me that this is a model that works for Margot.  It did not for a moment make me think “oh, crap, maybe I should enroll her in school after all.”  Being dedicated to unschooling does not mean that we are anti-schooling.  I think (some) schools are wonderful and I am very grateful that they are available if my child ever wants to make use of them.  I am grateful, also, that there are so many opportunities for Margot to learn skills from people who are not me.  I intend to accompany Margot for as much of her educational journey as is appropriate for us both, but I have no intention of being her only teacher along the way.   We are so thrilled that Margot has had so much success in swim class, and maybe someday she will break her Daddy’s backstroke record!!

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If I had been Unschooled

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I still know the Girl Scout Pledge by heart.

I think, absolutely, that unschooling is for everyone. I do not think there is only one type of person who could benefit from being allowed to follow their own interests rather than following a path pre-determined for them by a group of people they have never met.  For the record, I also do not think that unschooling has to mean that you never go to school.  There are many ways that unschooled children may find themselves in a classroom.

I liked school as a small child.  I have very fond memories of attending pre-school in a trailer, and of my elementary school in Hawaii (where we walked outside to get to our classrooms, not in fluorescent lit hallways) as well as my elementary school in New York.  I remember making occupation puppets in 1st grade (I made a female trash collector.) I remember my 3rd grade teacher reading aloud to us from a chapter book ghost story that I still think about ALL THE TIME.  I have quite a collection of little memories like these which make me look back fondly at the years I spent in grade school.

Middle school and high school hold some similarly pleasant memories.  I was involved with lot of after-school activities in High School, and held office in a number of clubs.  One of my proudest moments (still) was winning a journalism award from the New York Press Association for an article I wrote in the school paper.  I didn’t even know that my teacher/adviser had entered me until she got the letter saying that I had won and chased me down in a hallway to share the good news.

But, there are other things I remember, too. I remember having nightmares about unfinished homework in 2nd grade.  (Jem and the Holograms were roller skating around me taunting me with a marble notebook.)  I remember being teased and bullied in Middle and High School.  I remember having an anxiety attack during a math exam and being carried out of the room.

I do not think “school” is evil.  In fact, 87.5% of my and Todd’s immediate family members work or have worked in education (I did that math by googling, not because I remember learning how to calculate percentages…) and that includes both me and Todd.  I imagine that Margot will, at some point in her life, attend some sort of school.  But, I hope that when she does it will be her choice and she will be enrolling in school to follow a passion of hers.

I also wish, very much, that I had been unschooled as a child.  I had a bit of a lazy streak (still do), so I’m sure I would have given my parents a bit of a panic at some points had I been an unschooler. I may have engaged in quite a lot of laying about.  But, also, I would have read.  As a young person I had a plan to read every book in the library. I would go each week and pick a random book off of the shelf, and then the next week I would pick a random book off the shelf one shelf down, and so on.  Maybe, if I had been allowed unlimited time to lay around reading, I would have made a bigger dent in the Pearl River Public Library.

For what it’s worth, I just asked Todd what he would have done if he had been unschooled and he says “I would have spent more time riding my bike through the woods and building dams in streams.”  Which makes me feel like kind of a nerd for saying “I would have tried to read every book in the library!”

But, that’s kind of the beauty of it all, right?  That instead of little Todd and little Alexsis being sat down in a room to learn exactly the same things in exactly the same way, we would have both been doing the things that we loved and learning the whole time in our own way.  We both still would have learned to read and write and do simple arithmetic.  I might have learned more about history through reading, and Todd might have learned more about engineering by taking apart bicycles.  And those skills that we learned would have served us well and would have been meaningful and, therefore, well-remembered.

I don’t think my parents made a bad choice by sending me to school (Hi Mom and Daddy, I love you! You DID A GREAT JOB!! Look how amazing I am!!).  And my parents have always been extremely supportive and enthusiastic about anything that interests me. But, I will always wonder “what if?”  What if I had been given that unlimited time to read and write? Would I have written the great American novel by now?  Would I have the career I always dreamed about as a professional writer? Or, would I be writing a blog just like this one all the same?  And I guess now I will wonder the same things about Margot.  What if we had decided to send her to school?  Who will she become and how much will the choices we have made for her influence that person? And, what will she choose to do all day?

Right now it’s looking for bugs and painting all over her body.

As for me, I’m still trying to read every book in the library…

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Disclaimer: this is not actually the library.

Italy: Sightseeing

 

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While Margot and I were in Italy we didn’t do a lot of traditional sightseeing.  We spent a lot of time exploring nature and playing outside with our friends.  Just like we do at home.  There were times when we were in the woods and a fellow nature lover would come by and say “Ciao!” and I suddenly realized “Oh yeah! We are in ITALY right now!”

It’s one of the advantages/disadvantages of travelling as an American that we get to walk around in this little English-speaking bubble.  I did study Italian before our trip, and I used a very little bit of it.  One of the friends we were staying with spoke Italian beautifully, so he acted as our translator for most of the trip, and, in general, when I spoke to people in shops or on the street with my halting Italian, they responded in perfect accented English.  So, it happens that on our trip to Italy, sometimes I forgot I was in Italy until a well placed, drawn out “Ciiaaaoooo” brought me back to reality.

I tried to explain the concept of how far we were travelling to Margot.  I showed her on our globe and I explained the basics of air travel, but… it’s a really hard concept.  And if I was forgetting that we were in another country, then I can’t imagine what Margot’s experience was like.  Just last night she was talking about an indoor playground that we have been to which is a 5 minute drive from our house.  She said, “Remember when we went to Billy Beez in Italy?” and I had a hard time convincing her that Billy Beez was not actually in Italy, but it was here, in New York.  So, her understanding of international travel is a bit… loose.

Someday she will understand it, and she will look back at these photos of her at 3 years old in these magical places and she will be grateful (I hope!).

But, you’re not here for me to wax poetic about how appreciative my daughter will be when she’s older.  You’re here to hear the story of me getting peed on. I know.  So, here it is:

When I realized we would be 2 short hours away from Venice, I knew that was the one item on my Must Do In Italy list.  It worked out that the day we went there was a bit rainy and dreary and we were meeting up with some other friends of our hosts (who were visiting from Israel.) So our day in Venice got off to a slow start, and when we finally arrived we spent a while waiting in the train station for the rest of our group to arrive.  Waiting around Margot (who has inherited my keen sense of smell) commented that she smelled bananas.  I said, “oh, I see that person over there is eating a banana.”  And then, that person came over to us with a bag of fruit and… gave us a bunch of fruit. This part of the story really has nothing to do with anything else that went on that day except for the fact that, like a fairy tale, a stranger in a train station gave my daughter an apple.  I let her eat it.  And, we are all still here.  Sometimes an apple from a stranger is just an act of kindness*.

So, finally, we were off on our Venetian adventure!  We roamed the streets and… promptly got lost. Which is, apparently, a rite of passage.  To add to our sense that as English Speakers we are entitled to always having someone around who can speak to us in our native language, right as we were reaching the point of desperation, a man approached us and said “Can I help you?  I recognize the lost look on your faces.”  Turns out he and his wife were retirees from the UK who had lived in Venice for 4 years.

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Jerry and Ruth

They directed us to a gondola taxi cab (a ride which lasted about 30 seconds) and set us on our way to Piazza San Marco.

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30 seconds is long enough for a selfie

We were making our way there and just getting to the point of feeling a little lost again when I said “let’s go through that little archway, it looks like it might be cool on the other side.”

I was right. It lead us right into Piazza San Marco, which, if you are wondering what it looks like, I suggest googling, because I did not really get any pictures that do it justice.  (Another major bummer about not having Todd on this trip is that my cell phone photos don’t show anything properly. Todd is the photog in the family.) When we were standing in the center of Piazza San Marco, I compared it to standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon, it was too big and beautiful to see it all at once.

The lines to go inside of anything were way too long to stand on with three little humans, so we just gawked a bit and then got gelato for the 5 billionth time.

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This time with gondolas

We really wanted to see Venice by boat for more then 30 seconds so we headed to the water to get on what is essentially a Venetian bus.  Right before we got on the boat-bus Margot said “I have to go potty.” And I said, “Okay, we have to go all the way back through the Piazza.” Margot said, “Nevermind, I can hold it.”

Okay. Obviously, it is now apparent to all of you that I made a huge mistake.  I should have insisted.  But, here’s the thing. Sometimes Margot really CAN hold it. Sometimes she doesn’t REALLY have to go right at that moment.  And, most of the time, if she says she doesn’t have to go anymore and one of her loving parents tries to get her to go anyway it turns into a 10 minute long battle of wills, and the boat was leaving in 2 minutes.  So, we got on.

We were about 5 minutes into the ride when she started to wiggle on my lap.  She was miserable, I was miserable, the rest of our group was on the other side of the boat, and the end was not in sight.  So, I said, very calmly to Margot “Just pee, I have a change of pants for you, just, go ahead and pee.”  She said, “But, then you will have pee on you.” “It’s okay, Margot, I will be okay, just pee, Baby, it’s okay.”

She refused.  I went on trying to convince her, she went on wiggling and crying and saying “no.”  I finally caught the eye of one of our friends and said “We have to get off at the next stop, she needs to pee.”  And then, immediately, “Nevermind.”

Friends, I was not really prepared for HOW MUCH pee my child had stored up in her bladder at this point. We had used the bathroom not that long ago, and she hadn’t been drinking a lot that day, so, when the pee came and kept coming, I prayed to the gods I don’t believe in that my jeans would be sufficient to soak it all up.  They were.

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So, the rest of our boat trip was actually pleasant. Margot stopped wiggling and crying and started enjoying looking at all the buildings and the gondoliers passing by.  And, I was covered in pee. For the rest of the day. Because of course I had a change of clothes for my 3 year old.  But, I did not have a change of clothes for the 32 year old…

Other highlights of sightseeing: We went to Milan and on the line to go to the roof of the Duomo… we saw someone we knew from home!  BECAUSE THIS WORLD IS SO BIG AND YET SO SMALL…

Okay, I have two more posts coming up about Italy, and then I will get back to our regularly scheduled programming of random posts about nothing in particular.

*always use proper discretion when eating food from strangers.